Discernment for Online Dating

by | May 26, 2026 | Uncategorized | 0 comments

Online dating has become one of the most common ways people meet today. According to Pew Research, more than half of Americans under 30 have used dating apps, and many relationships—even marriages—have started there.
For many Christians, though, online dating raises important questions. Is it wise? Is it dangerous? Is it something believers should avoid entirely?
In a recent breakout session, we emphasized a balanced perspective: online dating is a tool. Like any tool, it can be used wisely or foolishly. The key is not simply whether someone uses online dating, but whether we approach it with biblical wisdom, spiritual maturity, and intentionality.

Prepare Yourself First.

Before thinking about finding the right person, Christians should first focus on becoming the right person.
One of the most important questions a believer can ask is: Am I spiritually and emotionally prepared for a godly relationship? Jesus said in Matthew 6:33, “Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness.” A healthy relationship cannot replace a healthy walk with God.
Many people can relate to a season of spiritual drift and the realization that certain areas need correction before they can lead a future spouse well. That kind of honesty points to an important truth: unresolved spiritual struggles do not disappear in dating relationships—they usually grow.
Online dating especially can magnify weaknesses if someone enters it from a place of loneliness, insecurity, or spiritual compromise. That is why preparation matters.
The session also emphasized the importance of biblical standards. Christians should determine beforehand what convictions and priorities matter most in a relationship.  Amos 3:3 asks, “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” If a believer waits until emotions are involved to decide what standards matter, compromise becomes much easier.
Seeking wise counsel is also essential. Proverbs 11:14 reminds us that “in the multitude of counsellors there is safety.” Mature Christians, pastors, mentors, and trusted friends can help provide clarity and accountability.
One of the biggest dangers in online dating is treating it casually.
Many people download dating apps simply to “see what’s out there.” But without purpose and intentionality, it becomes easy to drift emotionally into unhealthy relationships. What begins as curiosity can quickly become attachment.
It’s common for us to become emotionally invested before we pause to evaluate whether the relationship is actually wise. We may overlook obvious concerns because we feel lonely, discouraged, or simply excited to receive attention.
That is why Christians must guard against entering dating relationships without clear purpose. Scripture repeatedly warns believers to stay spiritually alert and sober-minded.
Patience and trust in God’s timing matter. A relationship pursued outside of wisdom rarely produces peace.

Guard your heart.

Proverbs 4:23 says, “Keep thy heart with all diligence.” That principle is especially important in online dating.
One helpful way to do this is through accountability. Dating should not happen in complete isolation. Having a trusted friend, mentor, or spiritual leader who can ask honest questions and speak truthfully can provide protection from emotional blindness.
The session also acknowledged that online dating can be emotionally draining. Constant rejection, comparison, and disappointment can weigh heavily on someone’s heart and mind. Taking breaks is sometimes necessary and healthy.
Perhaps one of the most important reminders from the message was this: the people behind the profiles are real people. They have real emotions, real hopes, and real struggles. Christians should approach online dating with kindness, maturity, and respect—not treating others as disposable.

A Tool that Requires Wisdom

Online dating is neither automatically good nor automatically bad. It is simply a tool. For some, it may become a meaningful avenue that leads to a Christ-centered marriage. For others, it may not be the right path.
But regardless of the platform, the biblical principles remain the same:
  • Seek God first.
  • Be spiritually prepared.
  • Set biblical standards.
  • Pursue relationships intentionally.
  • Guard your heart.
  • Involve wise accountability.
  • Trust God’s timing.
Technology may change the way people meet, but God’s wisdom for relationships never changes.

So, Is Orthodoxy Theologically Wrong?

In many of the most important areas, yes.

While Orthodoxy differs from Catholicism in structure and emphasis, it ultimately shares many of the same foundational theological problems.

1. Orthodoxy Rejects Scripture Alone as Final Authority.

Orthodoxy teaches that authority comes from both Scripture and “Holy Tradition.”

While they affirm the inspiration of the Bible, they also teach that Scripture must be interpreted through:

  • Church fathers
  • Ecumenical councils
  • Church liturgy
  • Historical tradition

In practice, this means the church becomes the final interpreter of truth.

That directly conflicts with the sufficiency and clarity of Scripture.

The Bible teaches that Scripture is sufficient to equip the believer for every good work:

“All scripture is given by inspiration of God… that the man of God may be perfect, throughly furnished unto all good works.” — 2 Timothy 3:16–17

Church history is valuable, but it is not infallible. Scripture alone is God-breathed.

2. Orthodoxy Holds to a Faulty View of Salvation.

This is the biggest issue.

Orthodoxy does not teach justification by grace alone through faith alone in Christ alone.

Instead, salvation is viewed as a lifelong process of participation in God through sacraments, repentance, fasting, obedience, and spiritual transformation (“theosis”).

While Orthodoxy rightly emphasizes transformation and sanctification, it confuses sanctification with justification.

The Bible teaches that sinners are declared righteous before God entirely because of Christ’s righteousness credited to them by faith.

Orthodoxy instead blends faith and works into the basis of acceptance before God.

That is not a small disagreement. That is the heart of the Gospel.

3. Orthodoxy Elevates Tradition Beyond Scripture.

Orthodox theology relies heavily on church tradition and historical continuity.

But one of the major problems is inconsistency.

Even within Orthodoxy, there are disagreements over how binding various councils, traditions, and practices actually are.

For example, some historical Orthodox councils strongly defended the veneration of icons—even pronouncing curses on those who rejected them—while modern practice is often softer and less consistent.

This creates an unstable authority structure.

If tradition is infallible, which traditions count? Which councils are binding? Which church fathers are definitive?

Ultimately, Orthodoxy ends up selectively appealing to history in ways that can become inconsistent and subjective.

4. Orthodoxy Contains Serious Doctrinal Problems.

Orthodoxy also teaches doctrines and practices that go beyond Scripture, including:

  • Prayers connected to Mary and the saints
  • Sacramental salvation
  • Veneration of icons
  • Mystical teachings about the afterlife
  • A priestly mediation system

Some Orthodox traditions even teach concepts similar to “toll houses,” where souls are examined after death regarding their sins and spiritual condition before entering God’s presence.

These ideas simply are not grounded in clear biblical teaching.

Is Orthodoxy the same as Catholicism?

No.

There are real differences between Orthodoxy and Catholicism.

Orthodoxy rejects papal supremacy, has a different structure of church authority, and differs on certain doctrinal details.

But despite those differences, both systems ultimately place authority outside Scripture and both reject justification by faith alone.

That means the core Gospel issue remains.

The Real Solution Is Not Formality—It’s Biblical Truth

Many people are running toward Orthodoxy because they correctly recognize problems in modern Christianity:

  • Shallow teaching
  • Consumer-driven worship
  • Emotionalism
  • Casualness toward God

Those concerns are often legitimate.

But the answer is not to run toward a system that adds layers of tradition and obscures the Gospel.

The solution is to return to Scripture.

The Bible is sufficient, clear, authoritative, and enough for the church today.

True reverence does not come from incense, candles, or ancient rituals alone. It comes from rightly seeing God through His Word.

“Let us have grace, whereby we may serve God acceptably with reverence and godly fear.” — Hebrews 12:28

Reverent worship flows from a right understanding of who God is—not merely from atmosphere or formality.

Final Thoughts

Orthodoxy is attractive because it offers history, beauty, transcendence, and seriousness in an age of instability and superficiality.

But sincerity, beauty, and antiquity are not enough.

Every church, tradition, and theological system must ultimately be tested by the Word of God.

And wherever any system departs from the Gospel of grace alone through faith alone in Christ alone, we must lovingly but clearly say that it is wrong—no matter how ancient or impressive it may appear.

Resources to Learn More

  • 9 Marks Pastor’s Talk — 2-part episode on Eastern Orthodoxy
  • The Story of Christianity: Volumes 1–2 by Justo L. Gonzalez